Considering that I am using Microsoft word to vent out my feelings at a time when I should actually be using Microsoft excel to prepare the quotatins and payment collection schedules from rather unsuspecting yet highly deceptive customers must convince you that I take work ethics very seriously. I didn’t realize when I did start procrastinating so often, may be I always used to. For once I have decided to procrastinate my habit of procrastinating and pen down my feelings before my frustration takes up other different ways to let itself out. So here I am busy fighting (remember office is battlefield) and yet somehow managing to be an author at the same time. In school days, I used to use the word “Versatile genius” a lot in my essays , guess I turned into one. For all those abusing me for such a blatant outburst of self-appreciation, I am sorry but every now and then I need to re-assure myself with good words and thoughts, simply to carry on fighting, its my only shield against radioactive levels of criticism.
Coming to the point ,at sunset yesterday, after ceasefire was declared, I was making my long tiring journey back to the base camp (read home) alongwith my fellow soldiers, I happened to board the military vehicle (read public transport) which ferries many soldiers like me back and forth forth from the battlefield( read office). After a long day of battle(read work) all that the soldiers can speak of is the feats they achieved today on the field,with some whinning about how another soldier in his team did not co-operate and he got punched in the face by the enemy(read customer). Some complained about how they were asked to make extra rounds of the field after battle by their commanders as a note of punishment for not obeying orders or falling out of war formations. To divert my mind from this senseless gibber I plugged in my earphone and Words by Boyzone just helped me relax.
Listening to the song I realized how words control our lives and to prove this to you I decided to share my thoughts with little stories and anecdotes here and there to drive my point home.
Wrong or improper usage of words or incorrect way of expressing oneself can lead to devastating effects.
I start the discussion with an incident at office today. I was presenting the same sort of excuses to my boss for last couple of days. Today, on being summoned I smartly presented the same excuse.....and he howled at me at the top of his voice (he was so fuming that he somehow blurted out these words) "Do you think I am a fool??"....what I should have said would be "not at all sir,....blah blah blah".....but what did do was maintain pin-drop silence......and on repeating the question I held on to my ground.....this created so much friction in the air....that my boss started perspiring like anything with the AC on and had take take his BP pill just to save his life......
On another instance, a friend of mine was with one of his female friends and they went to the ticket counter.The person on the other side out of amusement asked"Aap log bhai behen hain kya???"......and this fool kept shut the entire time with his face blushing red......Finally the girl broke the ice by saying that they were just friends......
Thinking of all this inside the military vehicle I soon realized that it was stinking inside and another thought came to me.Although I am saying that words or expressions do matter but on some occasions they do not. Like in school we learn that pigs sweat and men perspire......but as matter of fact...it doesn't matter....because a group of perspiring soldiers smell not better than a group of sweating pigs......
Say the taglines of some of the leading brands were changed with corresponding synonyms, would they mean the same thing, lets see
Airtel : Express yourself (actual)...........Reveal Yourself (changed)
Vodafone: happy to help you (actual) ................Gay to assist you (changed)
make the most of now (actual)............. produce plenty instantly (changed)
Idea : An Idea can change ur life (actual)...........An Intent can alter ur vitality ( changed)
Nokia: Connecting people(actual)............ Welding the proletariat (changed)
Reliance: Kar lo dunia mutthi mein( actual).............. You don't need to change this. Its hilarious as it is.
Motorola : Intelligence Everywhere (actual)........... Omnipresent Gray matter(changed)
LG : Life's Good (actual).........................Pleasing vigor (changed)
I am getting tired of thinking of more names. Maybe I would add some more in some other post.
I would finish this rather meaningless article with a story that demonstrates how wrong usage of words can even cost lives..............
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and luckily it won
The Pastor was so pleased that he entered it in the race again, and it won again
The Local Newspaper covered the story but what was the headline....It went like
"Pastor's Ass Out Front"
The Bishop was very disturbed with this kind of publicity.
He ordered the pastor not to enter his donkey in any other race
The next day , the flambuoyant reporter wrote:
"Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass"
This was too much for the Bishop,
so he orderd the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give the donkey to a Nun in a nearby convent.
Next Day, the reporter who had a different way of expressing things wrote:
"Nun Has Best Ass in Town"
The Bishop fainted on reading this. He asked the Nun to sell the donkey.
The Nun sold the donkey to a farmer for $10.
The reporter told this story as:
"Nun sells Ass for $10"
The Bishop was fuming on reading this.
He ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains,
where it could run wild.
The reporter reached to the zenith of his journalism career and wrote described the story in the best way he could,
the next day the headlines read:
"Nun Announces her Ass is Wild and its Free"
The Bishop could not take this shock and was buried the next day.
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and luckily it won
The Pastor was so pleased that he entered it in the race again, and it won again
The Local Newspaper covered the story but what was the headline....It went like
"Pastor's Ass Out Front"
The Bishop was very disturbed with this kind of publicity.
He ordered the pastor not to enter his donkey in any other race
The next day , the flambuoyant reporter wrote:
"Bishop Scratches Pastor's Ass"
This was too much for the Bishop,
so he orderd the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give the donkey to a Nun in a nearby convent.
Next Day, the reporter who had a different way of expressing things wrote:
"Nun Has Best Ass in Town"
The Bishop fainted on reading this. He asked the Nun to sell the donkey.
The Nun sold the donkey to a farmer for $10.
The reporter told this story as:
"Nun sells Ass for $10"
The Bishop was fuming on reading this.
He ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains,
where it could run wild.
The reporter reached to the zenith of his journalism career and wrote described the story in the best way he could,
the next day the headlines read:
"Nun Announces her Ass is Wild and its Free"
The Bishop could not take this shock and was buried the next day.
So, here we have learnt that wrong words or no words at wrong places lead to not-so-right results.
This article was written because my fellow soldiers wouldn't stop their nonsensical gibber and I was forced to listen to Boyzone (although I listen to them even when not forced), so I dedicate this my battalion bcoz matter how much I ridicule them, I am one of them.
Signing off now.......shall be back with some other meaningless post soon.........
